Twelve Steps After Christmas Blues

Hello I'm gonna be late for Christmas just two days is all
Sorry I'll be late again for Christmas just two days is all
Spent last night on a cot in the hospital hall

Well I meant to go out shopping bring some presents home
I planned to spend last night shopping bring some presents home
But I drank up my whole paycheck and passed out all alone

I got off work a little early tried to make it home on time
Yes I left work a little early hoped to make it home on time
Hit happy hour hard throwing down tequila salt and lime

Well it's Christmas eve and I had way too much egg nog
Said it's Christmas eve and I drank much too much egg nog
Wrapped my car around a pole didn't see it in my fog

Can you phone the lawyer can you post my bail
Please phone the lawyer need you to post my bail
I don't want to spend another Christmas sitting in a jail

God I know I have a problem my life's a wreck I must confess
Yes I have a problem things never work out for the best
Just let me get past Christmas I swear I'll clean up my mess

Well it’s just twelve steps after Christmas I've got to make amends
Twelve more steps after Christmas must make it up to family and friends
Let me kill this last bottle it’s my higher power amen amen amen